It's All About GOD

The enemy knows where I am vulnerable.  To be completely honest here, I am very vulnerable.  I cannot hide that from God.  I see the pages and blogs of other Christian women in ministry, and I see how they are rapidly multiplying numbers of followers, multiplying likes and multiplying comment exchanges which leads me to feel less than because I'm not seeing the same growth.  It's like that question I wrote about years ago on Clay's 21 birthday; Infertile Soil or Sterile Seeds?  I have come to the conclusion, well, I am trying to accept the conclusion, that some seeds are slow to germinate and some soil is better than other soil.  The important thing is that I keep sowing seeds.  I cannot allow the enemy to rob my seeds or my desire to sow them; I must obey the voice in my heart that it matters.  The voice is God's voice.  HE is happy with my efforts.  HE is happy I've tried diligently to nurture seeds I've scattered all over the place; some I don't even know where or who the wind might have carried them to.  I went to an amazing event with more than 650 other women called into ministry.  It was the first thing I have ever done for myself, by myself.  I came away with my personal vessel spilling over in joy and encouragement.  I have acted upon some of the lessons I learned from the experience, yet I'm not noticing any minuscule evidence of green beginning to grab attention to my naked eyes.   Lord, where is the green?  Have I simply not succeeded with my attempts to garden my soul the last 30 to 50 years? I've tried!  Why can I not see green evidence?  I want to see lush green results for my diligence; for my persistence to try to be a successful nurturer to bring kingdom glory.  YOUR KINGDOM, LORD!

HE hears my plea.  "Child, I KNOW the seeds you have tendered so carefully and lovingly.  I know it seems futile at times.  You need to remember all I ask you is to sow.  I am growing them on my time frame.  Remember the blink of my eyes can be as a hundred years to you.  I am the one developing the root structure to the seeds you cannot yet see emerging.  Without a good root structure, the most precious seeds I need you to sow will not survive.  I've trusted you with extremely rare seeds.  Trust me to bring the green pastures you want to see.  Green pastures are where my sheep graze in safety under my care.  It is a special place.  You have weathered the harshest of different storms that I have trusted you with rare seeds of safe shelter.  You are sheltering my precious sheep more than you realize.  Don't doubt your significance.  Remember KINGDOM SIGNIFICANCE.  I AM proud of you.  I know your heart and I know your efforts.  You are a chosen child.  Trust me.  You are of great importance.  Don't give up; keep sowing.  Larger green pastures give safe shelter to a greater number of sheep under my care.  You are growing my pastures."

I am awed and humbled at the same time.  God has me cradled in the hands of HIS GRACE even when I forget the feeling of His Hands upon my vessel.  Sometimes it seems He has removed them temporarily, but you can bet, HE knows how to speak to me as only a FATHER knows how to speak to his daughter with great love and devotion.  I know I rest in His Hands of Grace.  His Hands are warm and often delicate, gentle yet strong at the same time.  He is the Master Potter of our personal vessels.  I need to constantly remember it's not about me.  It's not about you.  It's not about Clay or the Falls Family.  It ALL about GOD.  Leave it in His very loving, very capable hands.  Allow him to keep you cradled in grace.  <')))><