My name is Annette Monts Falls and I am working diligently to honor God's hands upon my life through the avenue of writing and with aspirations of speaking. I will be fifty-four years old in December. My life has been a very complex journey from my earliest childhood memories to present day. I have been married to my husband, Fred for thirty-three years. We have shared three sons in our marriage.
Our firstborn was born prematurely and died the day following his very unexpected birth. Our second born was born prematurely but later into pregnancy at thirty-six weeks, and spent a month in the same Oklahoma NICU his brother had died in only nine and a half months prior. He is now thirty years old and thriving. I am a proud mama.
Our third son, Clay is now twenty-seven years old. Clay, born in Boulder, CO, like his brother Brandon, arrived at thirty-six weeks gestation. It was a very sudden emergency situation. I was determined to have a normal pregnancy and birthing experience, so I completely masked a day of tremendous pain. I did not want a final harsh beginning with our last child. It had been my best pregnancy; things had gone better than ever and we knew his size was very substantial. God knew it would take a very stubborn me to believe something was wrong with the baby to get medical attention. God is very wise. Clay's movements came to a startling halt in my womb; I tried and tried to stir him to no avail. I was in tremendous pain but still covering it. Only when I could not stir Clay to move did I alarm my husband, continuing to hide the pain until we got to the hospital. When we arrived, Clay began to move as normal but we went for an exam. Clay's heart rate and kicks were normal. However, when the doctors did the physical exam on me, I could no longer hide the immense pain I was enduring. Suddenly I was rushed into my third emergency Cesarean section. It was two days prior to the four year anniversary of our first little boy's premature birth. I was terrified. Everyone assured me all would be fine with the baby; "nothing is going wrong this time." I was in danger of immediate rupture. Fred was allowed to be with me during surgery; he had not been allowed to be with me the prior surgical births. Things seemed to be going well with the spinal, they told us the tip of the scalpel immediately ripped opened my uterine scar which was thin as tissue paper. Had God not made me believe something had happened to Clay, it is very likely that both of us would have died in a short time frame. They lifted him up, declared him to be a large, healthy baby boy, quickly bundled him, placed him in my left arm for just a moment, then moved him a short distance for exam. He weighed six pounds and fifteen ounces. He looked amazing. However, our joy was very short lived as crisis again struck for the third and final birth. For reasons unknown, his lung ruptured after birth. This sent us into a spiral towards a living hell, worse than any we had known before.
This has been a long marriage filled with many tragedies, long harsh seasons of long enduring trials and greatly required perseverance. During my life God has held me in Hands of Grace thousands of moments. God has cradled me since my birth through this very moment. I know He will not leave me.
My childhood and life as a wife, mother, daughter, sister and as a friend have all brought lessons, insights and wisdom. I relate the Hands of Grace with The Master Potter who molds all of us who are made of clay. We are all His vessels.
This is my attempt to continue to bring Kingdom Glory out of harsh times spent being shaped by God's very hands to his specific purposes. It is wildly complicated. It may be confusing. It is still confusing to ME! However, I write to God's glory.
In my rambling posts, please do not hesitate to ask me questions that may arise as you read them. I know it will be hard to fit the pieces; it's a difficult puzzle. I attempt to be as transparent a vessel as possible, though sometimes it is hard to be vulnerable. Should you have questions, please share a comment or feel free to reach me via email at Annette4clay@aol.com
I ask that you put "Cradle question" as the subject so that I can immediately recognize and respond.
Clay is a survivor. His life has been that as a warrior for Christ. His beginnings caused severe oxygen deprivation which caused severe Cerebral Palsy. We are fortunate that it has affected his physical body; his mental and intellectual abilities are in tact. He is non-verbal and completely dependent, 24/7 upon us here in our home. It is hard work but the blessings far outweigh the sorrows and difficulties. I see him as a perfect symbol of being a special vessel molded from God's very hands. It has helped me realize we are all vessels from the Potter's wheel. I don't know what our future holds, but I know God cradles us every second that continues as long as HE will us breath and purpose.
I hope you will join me. I pray you will be blessed by a look into life as we know it in our family. My goal is to write and possibly begin to speak more boldly about God's unconditional love and grace. It is how God is currently calling me to step out in faith by sharing more completely the entire stories of life through our experiences and often bleary eyes. May it bring newer, clearer vision that teaches all of us to keep our focus on God.
Love, hugs, blessings and prayers to God's glory,
Annette <')))><
8-10-2012
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